We all have different type of parents, some are good some are bad. Some are extra caring, some are extra strict. But one thing is common we never like our parents we generally feel that our friend’s parents are nice and our parents think that neighborhoods child is nice than us. Parents and children both are right on their own place. But still we find many cases where it’s unbearable for any child to handle the abusiveness of their parents. I don’t say that every parent is abusive if they shout or beat their child. Because we know parents are the one who take care of us, who love us and they are also the one’s who make us aware from bad things and sometimes bring us on the right path in life. But if the abusiveness of any parent is uncontrollable and most importantly ‘unreasonable’, then you need to focus on reasons, solutions and most importantly find out ways to handle this very delicate situation. Let me tell you as a child if your parent is really abusive on that serious stage then you have to learn the ways if still it doesn’t work then take the appropriate action. Hence, to help you out from this situation, I am going to list out ten different ways to handle an abusive parent as a child.
10. Don’t Pay Attention
Yes, seriously! I mean you if you start bothering about so small abuses by your parents you will go on taking more and more stress. So the best way is, Why the hell do you pay attention to them? Just stop thinking about it, ignore it. Keep yourself busy in your other activities, friends, study, books etc which will at least help you in building your future. Don’t pay attention to their small small abuses, consider that they maybe in some other stress and keep thinking positive. If still your parents are doing the same thing again with more intensity then carry on to further ways.
9. Keep Calm
When your parents shout at you, beat you, swear at you unnecessarily then obviously you feel very angry for it and you give your reaction by doing the same things to them. But if you want to handle the situation then please don’t do such stupidity and waste your energy, because both will suffer through this. Instead keep calm in such situation. Keep calm by counting in your mind, ten to one that is descending it would definitely help you to cool down. Don’t argue with them, go to your room instead to be quite mentally. This method will really help you many times.
8. Discussion
Firstly, in every bad situation you should always give this method that is discussion a try. Discussion helps you to lead to solution or sometimes find reason behind the problem. Your problem is that your parents are abusive to you in spite that you are innocent and it’s not o.k of them to behave with you in such manner every time. Hence, discuss with them when they are in light mood with you, ask them why is this happening and why are they doing so? Also tell them that it hurts you a lot when they behave with you in such manner. And also discuss with them that it is affecting your studies and your emotional health. So that they will realize their behavior and also start caring about you. Hence, give it a try and maybe you will get solved your problem forever.
7. Develop Your Skills
If you want to handle your parents who are abusive to you every time, then develop your talking skills. You should learn how to talk when the person in front of you if is in angry mood or rude to you what are different skills to make them cool down and also make them listen your point. Also learn how to do arguments softly. And most importantly controlling your voice tones while doing it. This thing will help you to handle them in practicality. It’s hard to acquire but if you are in need of it you would definitely do it.
6. Take Elders Help
You want to get out of this situation, but to get to your goal you need to take some steps first. You can’t totally handle this weird situation when your parents don’t understand you or care to listen to you, So the best way is take others help. But don’t take your friend’s or anyone’s because chances are less that your parents will hear them. Take help of your family relatives and the elder one’s because when they will talk to your parents, your parents will take your matter seriously and will be in control. Hence, always take your elders help because they can bring much more influence and pressure on your parents.
5. Protection
Well, if in this situation whether you are small or big by your age, you at least have your basic right to protect yourself. Hence, if your parents are becoming more abusive and brutal to you then you can take precautions of protecting yourself from them. That doesn’t mean you have to go all violent but you can at least defend yourself when they are hitting you or by arguing with them in proper manner as said above. If you can’t bear it, go to your relatives place for some days, telling your parents about why are you doing so. Maybe, they will understand you then and you can be back when all is well.
4. Non-Violence
Remember the great leaders like Mahatma Gandhi, Abraham Lincoln all of them taught us the most effective and powerful method to fight for our rights. In the same way it’s the right of our children to be safe, secure and always be happy with your parents. So, try out this method to make your saying strong, when they behave in an abusive way with you don’t argue or speak back at them instead tell them in the language of love that how wrong they are in their behavior, also tell them that how much you love them and what are their duties of behavior towards you. Always, remember that when their are more clashes you get more troubles instead of getting solutions to the problem so go ahead and use the weapon of Non-Violence.
3. Proving Ourselves
If you are not comfortable and don’t know that how to face your parents in this situation. Then you have only one way to handle them by proving yourself. You may have to prove yourself in different fields in which you are not that successful and your parents always get abusive to you for that unsuccessful thing. Hence, proving yourself will make them happier and satisfied and they won’t bother you anymore. This could be a hard job to do but you can at least handle them better on your own than involving any other person in your matter. So prove yourself but also remember that don’t forget to explore your talents while doing this.
2. Judge Their Mood
See and observe when do they behave in an abusive way with you, find out the reason whether it’s their work load or any other pressure on them. Then try to judge their different moods by their facial expressions. This will help you to understand that when they are in an angry mood, hence this will make you understand that it’s not the right time for you to talk with them or do anything that will go wrong in front of them or something that will happen by mistake from your hand. So that you will avoid them in that situation where they can get abusive to you. Thus, contact them, talk and do other normal things with them when they are in good mood which will help you to preserve your parent-child healthy relationship and also to handle and control that painful situations.
1. Helping Hands
If you think that the situation of the abusive behavior of your parents has gone out of your or any elder’s hands and where anybody can’t help you to get out of it then it’s time for you to take some serious help of government, police, etc of your locality. Today many different helping organizations have been setup to help children’s in such weird situations of life. There are different welfare organizations like for example: Child abuse prevention network and many more who help children’s who face sexual, mental abuse by their parents. Also for quick help many organizations have their toll free helpline numbers where children’s can contact on their own which you can easily get on internet. Also you can take help of laws which are made for children’s also such organizations provide you litigators to defend etc. So you don’t need to be afraid anymore because someone or the other out their is always ready and eager to help you.
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